The most important thing that a mother gives to us in life is trust. Initially, we trust our mother, and in the future – to the whole world. Initially, we feel happiness from communicating with her, and in the future – from life.
Mother – is our first love and, in the future, we are projecting this love upon other people and upon the whole world. Securely-attached child is absorbing from the mother important foundations that further define our life.
With mother’s eyes we are looking at the whole world. It is the mother who introduces the child to the world, puts emphasis, defines important things and not important things for us. Through her, the child learns what is world “for real”.
The attitude of the father towards the child and the attitude of the child towards the father – is also formed by the mother.
She is the only mediator between them. And whether she will allow the father and children to love each other in her heart and soul, depends the life not only of her children, but also grandchildren and great-grandchildren .
With our mother, we learn relationship without boundaries – complete fusion of the soul and body.
Relationship between mother and son.
Initially, boy is perceived by a mother as “different”, “not like me” due to an opposite gender.
Usually, the boy is in the field of the mother until about three years old. In this sensitive period, the boy is introduced with perception of the deep feminine – inner state of happiness, harmony, security, wholeness and tranquility.
In the future, all this reflecting in his ability to adequately express and understand his feelings. And this very process is a guarantee of his mental health.
It will take quite some time, before small boy will be formed and turns into an adult – strong, independent, defensive man.
Maternal stream creates a foundation in the soul of the child so the masculine force is realized in the future. At a very core, the mother lights up a fire that will keep him warm all his life, no matter what difficulties in adulthood he will have to endure.
Mother is activating feminine in a child, puts such basic things like trust and love (for yourself, for the others, for the world), happiness, creativity, intuition, interest in people, caring for others, tenderness, sensitivity, empathy.
The man’s primarily role is a defender and an earner. If he will deeply feel for someone (his wife, his child) then, he will rather die in a battle or in a fight before letting something happen to his beloved ones.
To provide his role integration, the mother releases the son to his father, passes him into the field of his father’s influence.
If the boy continue to stay with his mother – he continues to “drink” feminine already at the expense of his masculine nature. Furthermore, women’s psychology is fundamentally different than men’s psychology. For example, a woman copes with stress through repeated pronouncing, and a man – through forgetting. The man is focused on progress, the woman – on survival.
The information is perceived in different ways and processed in different ways.
In other words, while remaining in the mother’s field, the boy is disoriented not only in his relationships with the society, but first of all in his self-awareness and self-identification as a representative of his own sex.
Mother have to let go her son to his father at a very early age and forever. She must let him go into the masculine – his homeland. She must release him on the conscious and unconscious level, if she respects the father of the child in her soul.
By doing so, she agrees that the child will be like his father and it warms her heart. She must be in peace with the fact, that HE will be different, he is born and will be a MAN. In return, as initially programmed by our Great Mother Nature, near to his father, her son can learn to respect her as mother, as a woman, as a life giver.
In our modern world it became very difficult for a man to perform his masculine functions in the society. Image of a modern man is degrading day by day… Staying in the mother’s field in the “mother”- land, he is unconsciously doping himself in longing to cut off his feelings, in longing to cut off the cord between him and his mother so he can gloriously arrive to his homeland – masculinity.
Your psychologist Tetyana Ochkur